Chandni Chowk to China: A Question of Answers

India is the flavor of the season currently. And keen on adding tadka to the flavor, Rohan Sippy, Warner Bandhu and Nikhil Advani bring India’s first transnational film, ‘Chandni Chowk to China.’ Many among you have written to PFC imploring that this important milestone needs to be rigorously analyzed. Bowing to popular demand, we sent a note to Professor Armando Trilokesh Minimovich Yadav (Prof. A.T.M. Yadav). For more on Prof. A.T.M. Yadav, see here and here. However, we were disappointed to learn that he is touring the boondocks of China at this time. Nevertheless, our intrepid reporter travelled to China to file this interview for the readers of PFC.

Read the awesomely witty interview here!

GHAJINI – A PsychoAnalytic Review

I promised some of you that I would post this entry which was originally made by Subrat on PFC. Have fun reading this one!

This week we had Aamir Khan’s Ghajini hitting the screens across the country. As usual, our readers have a huge number of questions regarding the film. As they say in government organized functions, it is our ‘proud privilege’ to have Professor Armando Trilokesh Minimovich Yadav (Prof. ATM Yadav) among us to answer these questions. Prof ATM Yadav holds a dual PhD in sociology and economics and has a specific focus on Bollywood films. As usual, we’ll save everyone’s time and get into the Q&A directly.

PFC: Prof, people have been talking about the violence in Ghajini. They say it is gratuitous. Is this bad for the society?

Prof. A.T.M. Yadav: There’s a certain spring in my stride, lightness in every step, a whistle on my lips and mise-en-scene on my mind. Nothing clears your head like watching gratuitous violence on screen. Thoughts randomly skewed in space and time start falling into perspective. In short, Ghajini had so many layers that you need to watch it a few times to make sense.

PFC: There you go again!! What layers? People accuse Murugadoss and Aamir to have straightened the non-linear narrative of ‘Memento’ and then giving it some heavy-handed 80s masala treatment.

Prof. A.T.M. Yadav: I could decode 12 layers but I will only give you the two big ones.
First, the makers of Ghajini have reaffirmed our faith in the old economy – the stodgy world of pipes, crowbars, corrugated sheets, taps (!!) and other assorted blunt metal objects which make, what the writers call, a sickening thud sound. The manufacturing and construction sectors don’t need a bailout package; they need a film or two like these to market their products differently. Can’t you see it? It’s our version of the bailout package for the manufacturing sector.

The second layer is, of course, the movie is our way of sending the message across to ‘non-state actors’ in a neighboring country.

PFC: Non-state actors in a neighboring country. You are beginning to sound like Mr. Pranab Mukherjee. By neighboring country, you mean, P..

Prof. A.T.M. Yadav: Of course, I won’t name the neighboring country. But, can’t you see the parallels. Mohammed Ghajini (or Ghazni, as his name appeared in his Matriculation certificate) was the biggest non-state actor of all times. He attacked India 17 times between 1000 AD – 1025 AD. Similarly, we’ve been attacked many times by the modern day Ghajinis from across the border but we collectively suffer from short-term memory loss. Each attack is followed by 15 mins of anger and then all we are left with are Polaroid snaps, candlelight vigils and Simi Garewal. But this movie gives a befitting reply to the neighboring country. It reminds them that despite our short-term memory loss, we can still hit back, since we have Jiah Khan with us.

PFC: Coming back to the film, people have questioned the timelines. Firstly, if Kalpana was killed in June 2006, why did it take Sanjay two years to find out Ghajini? After all, if he just did a search on Yellow Pages, he would have found only one man named Ghajini in the whole of Bombay. So, what was he doing for two years apart from building an eight-pack and tattooing himself?

Prof. A.T.M. Yadav: Good question and this question clearly shows how intelligent our audiences have become. Now, I know why we would have rejected a brainless flick like Memento. Anyway, I have researched this area and I am glad to say that I have the answers. Firstly, if you look at Sanjay’s body closely, you’d find a tattoo ‘Anthony’ with a phone number below it. Sanjay looked at it and the first question he asked was ‘Anthony Kaun Hai’. This took him to a film released last year by the same name starring Sanjay Dutt and Arshad Warsi. So, Sanjay Singhania spent the whole of 2007 watching ‘Anthony Kaun Hai’. Not surprisingly, it further aggravated his memory-loss. Secondly, he started looking for Ghajini in 2008 but his initial clues led him into history books. He studied all about Mahmud of Ghazni and the Ghaznavid Empire and wrote a few monographs about the same subject under the pseudonym Gajgamini.

PFC: So how did he eventually reach the real Ghajini Dharmatama?

Prof. A.T.M. Yadav: While studying the life of Mahmud of Ghazni, he found this Amar Chitra Katha story about him. During the battle of Kathiawar in 1024, Mahmud accidentally shot an arrow at an “icchadhari nagin”. It turned out that this was actually Manisha Koirala of ‘Jaani Dushman – Ek Anokhi Prem Kahani’ who was searching for some teeth whitener for her ‘ichhadhari nag’ Armaan Kohli. Angered, she cursed Mahmud to be born 17 times in different avatars in India and each time be named Ghajini. Mahmud pleaded innocence and asked for mercy. The ichhadhari nagins are known to be a soft state. She threw in a few incentives including one which meant that no one could ever ask him a question. Sanjay read this story and reached the current ‘Ghajini’. It is a backstory that was written by Deepak Chopra and Shekhar Kapur.

PFC: The other timeline issue was Sanjay proposed to Kalpana on the New Year’s eve of 2006. So , what happened between Jan – July 2006? Why couldn’t he tell her in so many months about his real identity?

Prof. A.T.M. Yadav: That’s an easy one. You guys should learn to conflate real-life timelines with the film timeline. There was FIFA World Cup in Q2 2006 and Airvoice was the official sponsor. Sanjay must have been terribly busy then.

PFC: Also, there are questions about how differently two businessmen are portrayed. Sanjay is all about business meetings, contracts, licenses, power dressing et al being the Chairman of a Telecom company. But why is the Chairman of a Pharma company shown in such poor light. Isn’t pharma a glamorous enough sector? Why this bias against a sector and its chairman? Why wasn’t Ghajini Dharmatma shown negotiating an M&A opportunity with Japanese pharma firms or fighting court battles over Lipitor and its generics?

Prof. A.T.M. Yadav: I have thought about this deeply. Even when Ghajini was eliminating his rivals, there were no business executives among them. Pharma in India, as MNC firms have realized, is no child’s play. I think Murugadoss was subtly showing his deep sense of irony. The products of the company save lives while its Chairman takes them. The Preserver vs The Destroyer. That’s the gist of Hindu mythology! When you put it like that, it really makes the script come alive. It’s all very deep. Ghajin, the film, is full of such subtle nuances.

PFC: Hmmm. Any other layers that you discovered?

Prof. A.T.M. Yadav: Nothing, noteworthy barring, of course, the obvious impact of Obama on Bollywood.

PFC: Obama on Bollywood? When, How, Where?

Prof. A.T.M. Yadav: Of course, you would have noticed an African-born actor among Ghajini’s key men. It’s the second time in the last 3 months that I have noticed Africans in Hindi films. The first was Fashion where one of them played a central role in sending Priyanka back to Chandigarh. This wasn’t possible before Obama. You’ll have to go back all the way to Disco Dancer for similar portrayals. In Disco Dancer, they had an African couple during the World Disco Championships, who then proceeded to do break-dance and eventually lost to Mithun (Jimmy). Like in other places, Obama has changed the context in Bollywood.

PFC: Is there more to Aamir going shirtless in the film?

Prof. A.T.M. Yadav: I think it’s all in our names. Have you ever wondered why the name Akshay is an anagram of Hay Sak? Or Saif Ali Khan is an anagram of ‘I Fail As Khan’? Similarly, Aamir becomes Raima which meant he had to show some skin to balance the no skin policy of Raima.

PFC: Very profound. Also, there’s been audience reaction to the way the News Channel in the film behaves. The channel didn’t protect Kalpana’s identity which led to Ghajini’s men finding her. Do you think we’ll have further bashing of the media now? Will Barkha Dutt write another teary article about how she’s being targeted?

Prof. A.T.M. Yadav: No. I don’t think it will happen. Barkha, if you observe closely, is an anagram of ‘Khabar’. You can never put her out of news business. See, it’s all in our names.

PFC: One final question. According to the Amar Chitra Katha story, was this the last incarnation of Ghajini or are there more left?

Prof. A.T.M. Yadav: According to the legend, the last incarnation is to come next. It’s the most dangerous of them all – the film critic. Salman is planning to make a movie on that one.